Fight the Good Fight of Faith

Don’t give up! I want to tell you a story about not giving up. Today is Bryan’s Birthday. Those that follow us know Bryan is bedridden from being hit by two cars while walking. He is a step above Semi-comatose, he sleeps, wakes, sighs and moans when he doesn’t like something, like cleaning his nose, his least favorite thing. Mom rubbing his forehead is his favorite thing! He sighs when I do that and hug him. He can’t communicate but I know he hears me. By the way, I tell him all the time you all are praying for him and give him kisses and hugs from you! His story is here if you have not read it, I pray it is a blessing about not giving up. Bryan’s accident was May 23, 2009. I still believe God for a miracle. And Bryan just being here is a miracle! But there is more. God is a God of more, amen?! I don’t know why he is not healed yet but I won’t give up. And in the day to day, I have to fight sometimes, well, often really, to ward off depression and stick close to God’s comfort, to hide under the shadow of The almighty. He is always watching over us, never doubt that. He is very close, and very very close to the broken-hearted. That’s me for my son.

I miss my son’s laughter. I tell him that sometimes, but not too much because I don’t want him to feel bad. I tell him to fight. Talk to Jesus and ask Him to please hurry up with that healing. I tell Bryan not to worry about me, I love him and would do anything for him. I am OK, I tell him. I am here with you.

Fighting the good good fight of faith is just a matter of making your decision to follow Jesus and trust God. I don’t care what it looks like on the outside. See, the enemy is out to destroy you with all kinds of attacks. To rob you of your peace. Great prayer idea, ask God to show you where you are allowing the enemy to rob you of your joy and peace. Our attacks often come from innocent words of others and we take offense. Offense is far from the spectrum of love. Love bears all, hopes all, does not behave unseemly. Never mind the other person might be acting unseemly, you don’t have to. And voila, there is your peace, choose to love. Choose God’s way.

And if you are in a situation like mine, with unbelievable hardship, or even a bad marriage which is also VERY hard (mine is still healing, with bumps, I know…), then you really have to guard your heart. Take time to breathe in God, as in be still a moment and hear from Him. His game plan for the day, His cleansing at night before you go to bed, asking Him to forgive you anywhere you have been unpleasing. Being brave enough to ask Him to search your heart, to help you remove the ugly. Let go of offenses and pray for the grace to be above them, to love. Our enemy is not flesh and blood but spiritual wickedness in high places. Hello, words! …don’t let them hurt you. The person might of had a bad day. And on top of that, they probably don’t even know they hurt you. A vast amount of stingy words to our heart are just taken wrong, by us. Guard that heart. Notice one day how many times you take offense. Maybe everyone isn’t as bad as me, lol, but I have to choose love as I notice the little stings, my little ego with it’s little fist up.. down little ego, your suppose to be dead, shhh, God has your back, choose love. …we are dead but alive in Christ, is what I meant about dead, no longer I that lives but Christ in me.

I still blow it, daily! But I am in the fight, I fight the good fight of faith. I choose love. That is hard sometimes. But God’s grace is sufficient. The Bible says so! The daily struggles I face are real and exhausting. Those that know Bryan’s story might not know in May, and of all days, May 23, the anniversary of Bryan’s accident, we moved my paralyzed brother in to take care of him. Like we didn’t have enough on our plate. He was being neglected in care, to the point of being alone so much as he didn’t have enough money to pay care takers, he had fallen and broken his legs and feet 5 times. He just lay there on the floor until the next helper came in hours later. And one time, one didn’t even come back to put him in bed at night and he laid on the cold concrete floor all night with broken legs. Can you imagine?

Well, love has high aspirations! We asked him to come live with us because we love him. That being said, he is one of the most difficult people I know. Many of you have prayed for him and for us…oh Dear Lord…Thank you so much! His level of crazy has gone from a 10 to about a 3! Power of prayer. And for me, a lesson in love and not taking offense.. try this, you are doing your best to help someone and they are cussing at you. Yeah, it’s been that bad, along with flying cups cross the room. But, love is winning. As a family we have made a decision to love and ignore the ugly. The ugly is now less and less. My brother says grace now when I give him dinner. He is blooming and a little light coming back to his eyes. Me, I have totally blown it and told him off. Some of it was appropriate to say, but I could have said it better had I waited until I dealt with my offense! I said some things I wish I didn’t. I asked God to forgive me.

That’s the battle. Love, make a mistake, ask to be forgiven. Get wounded, ask to be healed. Need a healing, don’t give up. Your marriage needs healed, pray for wisdom and strategy. Pray for the grace to rise above your situation. Rule it! Don’t let it rule you. When you crumble, do it in God’s arms and rest, let Him put you back together again. Be real. It is a fight, it is not easy. About the time you brave up your little heart to fight, you get knocked back down. Don’t beat yourself up… we’re not perfect. Just love with the best of your ability. Talk and share your heart with God. Everyone of them. God cares. And share with your brothers and sisters. We hold each other up. You are not alone in your pain. I know pain. I feel for you, but more importantly, God knows.

I know I am talking about fighting the good fight of faith and it is in the perspective of opposition, to take the ground. Perhaps you feel more like the victim and need defense. Well, the Lord fights for you, the battle is His. Just do your best to love in your choices, in your words, in your actions, even in your body language, written as I roll my eyes. I fall so short! But honestly, we have so much power in Love. Walls fall down, hearts are healed. It is everything! And in serving others in love, I read a quote recently that helps me with my perspective. I forget who said it, but it goes something like this, we could say, ugh, I have to do this and this and that for this person or for my job… or I could say, look, I get to be a blessing. Look at all I get to do to help someone! You know, God rewards your good deeds. He does. Don’t feel used. Be proud (good proud) to love. You get to love! Take that perspective. Warning though, be prepared, you will still take offense. But your freedom is there in choosing to love, your power is there in choosing to love. God is there in your choosing to love. Healing for you and others is there in your choosing to love. Choose love! You win!

God bless you all from Bryan and us. We love you! Thank you so much for your prayers for us on this very hard journey we are on. God delivers your love to us. Thank you! And on this special day, HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRYAN! We love you! xoxo I thank God for this boy!