Art and a story! Prophetic Art Ministry in honor of my son, Bryan, who was hit by two cars while walking. He survived!
Please read our testimony below.
Art and a story! Prophetic Art Ministry in honor of my son, Bryan, who was hit by two cars while walking. He survived!
Hope in God.
PART ONE: So here begins the story. On May 23, 2009 my son was hit by a car while crossing the road. He was flung through the air, landed and then a van ran over him dragging him through the intersection. They did not stop, it was a hit and run. He lost a lot of skin in that dragging. He broke a lot of bones, his head was hit really hard. And I can tell you I’ve hugged him a thousand times since, thousands and thousands actually, telling him I am so sorry that happened to him. Like as though my hugging and love could take away the pain that he went through. I’m Bryan’s Mom, Mom’s do that, we hug and love it away. I can only imagine the depths of God’s heart wanting to hug and love our pain away.
Sometimes I miss Bryan so much and my own pain is so great I just need to be near him for me. I bend over Bryan’s bed holding his head in my arms and just breath. I feel like I am breathing in the very life I need, like God is actually hugging and loving my pain away. And in that stillness, He is. And as God tells my heart it is ok, I tell Bryan. Of course sometimes I am sure I feel Bryan telling me it’s ok. He was always such the encourager. God’s gift to him and those around him.
The night at the hospital after Bryan’s accident, I just sat there with my head bowed praying please Lord, don’t let him die. Just writing this is making tears flow. I was so scared. I was prepared in my heart for him to leave, but I told God, if it was His will to take him, take him, “but just so You know God, I don’t want him to die.” Many were praying Bryan shall live and not die and declare the works of the Lord. The doctors told me he was not going to make it. He did! In the midst of all that, not that I don’t have faith, but I never left Bryan’s side because if he was going to die, I did not want him to be alone. Of course he wasn’t alone, Jesus was right there, but a Mom is a Mom.
It is unbearable to dwell on what happened and God gives me the good sense to bring my focus back to being thankful for the life we have now. Although hard, believe me, very hard, God has given my heart a grace and comfort that can only come from Heaven. I look to Him daily for His help. Bryan requires care 24/7 because he can not do anything for himself. He has traumatic brain injury. Although his care is tiring at times, I can testify, God sustains. I learned that way back as a child. Sometimes, I can not help but weep, but God comes to me in those times and gives me hope.
Because God speaks to us through testimonies of others, here is more of my story of a journey where I found joy in the midst of pain. As a teen, my Mom was a drug dealer. She came to know the Lord later in life. God healed her of hurts and pains she had carried. She has since passed away, I miss her. I don’t want to disrespect my Mom, but in my journey, some of the things I went through, God taught me how to not fall apart and be strong. So somethings I will share. If you only knew the depths God redeemed me from.
Particularly hard times were the days drugs were around. I can remember a living room full of people passed out all over the floor from partying the night before and I walked through them to get to the door to walk to church. I had seen enough of what darkness had to offer, I didn’t want it. I wanted God. I was hungry for truth and love and goodness, not what I saw around me. I had been raised going to church when I was little so I knew who Jesus was. And I ran to Him. And I fell and got back up and ran to Him again. It was a little hard growing up in the 70’s when your own mom was a drug dealer and not do drugs. But like I said, I had seen enough and finally turned my back on it. It surely did not help my pain. But God helped my pain.
I don’t really like talking about all the pain, I want more to share how God gave me grace and joy and love through it all. But to understand the extent God’s joy went, you’d have to know how deep the pain went. It got worse. I’m stopping here for now. I was 15 years old. I wanted goodness and God and all kinds of bad things were happening around me. So deep in my heart I started to turn to Him for comfort, He taught me where to run, I don’t remember when HIS JOY replaced the pain, but it did. And that JOY remained and carried me through Bryan’s accident and the pain of missing him now. He needs a miracle. He is a step above semi-comatose, he makes sighs when I hug him or moans if he does not like something, so he is aware, he just can’t communicate. He is bed ridden. He can’t do anything for himself, he has a trach and a feeding tube. We care for him at home and love him very deeply. Next time I write, I want to share Bryan’s heart on Grace. What he was thinking before the accident, what he had learned on his journey. I am so proud of that boy!
Brief (brief as possible) sum up of my pain, kind of a norm for this day and age, bless our hearts. My Mom moved to Fla. from NC and I was not around my Grandma anymore, broke my heart. She always tells me the story that I had told my Mom, if no one was going to take me to see my Grandma Betty Ball, I was gonna walk! She loves that story, I do, too. I also left my Grandma Dorthy and Grand Fathers. Both sets of grandparents were in same town. My Mom worked nights and I was all alone in the day while she slept. I explored a lot outside, alone, and I have a vague memory of talking to Jesus. I had learned about him in Sunday school. I would have to say early on I needed Him.
My Mom and Dad divorced when I was 6. My heart was more broken for my Daddy than for me. I saw his pain and it hurt. And I missed him. We moved back to NC. He stayed in Fla. So far away. He used to tuck me in every night and often sing to me with his guitar. I loved my Dad. And then he just wasn’t there. That was hard. And I knew he missed me, that was hard. My mom remarried, that was not hard, my step dad was great. But then my mom started doing drugs, they split up.
My mom worked and sold drugs and I kind of became Mom to my younger brother and sisters. I cooked, cleaned, did their homework, my homework, got them off to school and then myself off to school and had a straight A average and held it together pretty good. But that was a lot of stress for a teenager. That wasn’t the painful or hard part though. My mom just disappeared, SHE JUST LEFT, didn’t tell anyone where she was. My one aunt told me she was gone. My Step Dad took my younger sisters and brother and my older brother and I had to find a place to live. I died inside not having my little sisters and brother around. I loved them. My mom leaving didn’t compare to the pain of missing them.
I’ll write more soon on His story. I just had to let you know how God prepared me for Bryan’s accident. I will be sharing our pain, God’s comfort, a message of hope! It is a work in progress that I will be sharing on my blog with the plans to one day write a book. My prayer is that my art and our story will be a blessing. I will publish when I am done. Please pray God helps me write. I invite you to be a part of this journey and believe with us for Bryan’s healing. We appreciate your prayers! He was going into missions before his accident and I was going to sale my paintings to support those missions. Now I will support other missions in his honor. This is my way to carry on for him. It is like he still gets to go on missions around the world!
IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO SHARE PART ONE OF BRYAN’S STORY, you can share this about page link,
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If you know someone who would be blessed by our story, please share it. I hope it finds it’s way to hearts that will be touched and helped. Also, if interested, you can purchase a painting or print, now or in the future. I am not doing a sales pitch, I am making known your purchases make a difference! It helps me share God’s love through art, and carries on a good work in Bryan’s honor. I support missions through my art. Being a blessing is what this ministry is about. As a thank you for purchasing Art through this ministry, and praying for us, I have a SPECIAL OFFER for you! One Surprise 4×6 print for $1 (I pick out the print). You can purchase more than one. My prints easily slip into a frame to make a unique gift for a friend or to brighten your home or office with love filled art. The smaller 4×6 are nice framed and sitting on a shelf or desk. Larger sizes and cards available in store as low as $1.95 for 4×6, 5×7 card or print is $5.95 and 8×10 is $9.95! I have a few 11×14 for $24.95. Please Visit store to see all the prints to choose from. Thank you so much! God bless you!
Love, BRYAN’S MOM (Pam). ……more about Bryan and his Mom (me) below. I have included pics of his room where I take care of him.
NOW FOR SOME PICS OF BRYAN’S ROOM AND A LITTLE MORE ABOUT US. THANK YOU FOR YOUR PRAYERS!
This is a picture of me, Bryan’s Mom! (Pam) I share Bryan’s story with hopes it will be an encouragement. God has been with me every step of the way and given my heart peace and even joy in the midst of this storm. This is not the end of the story for Bryan. I pray for a miracle for him (and invite you, too), but whether I see that miracle in this lifetime or not. I will always have my Bryan and in Heaven, he will walk and talk and run and laugh with me. I am thankful to God for this gift of my son and all my children. I encourage you to love and embrace your kids every chance you get and cherish every moment. Whatever storm you may find yourself in through out your life, you are not alone, God is there with you. .
This is Bryan and our cat Marbles. Marbles loves Bryan and sleeps with him all the time! She is in her favorite spot! I know it feels good to Bryan to feel her there. His eyes are patched in the pic because he is sleeping. He sleeps with his eyes partly open so I have to patch them closed so they do not dry out. You can see in this pic how I moved his bed over into the kitchen like I explained below with the other pics. My art station is now right to the right of the lower part of his bed where he can see me paint when I have him lifted up in the bed. It comforts me having him right here with me like this. we love him so much! Thank you for praying for him! God bless you!
These are four corners of Bryan’s room. Since the pics below, we moved his bed over by the kitchen (photo above with cat). His bed is now half way in the kitchen area and halfway in the front right corner of the room where you see my Art easel. I love that Bryan can see me while I paint! Room is a little messy. I would have straightened up if I had known I would be posting pics of it! Lol. My bedroom door is to left of the TV. You can’t see it in pic. I was standing in front of it when I took the pics. The chair is now gone and there are two kitchen tables there with shelves built underneath. It is all loaded up with Art supplies. When I have time, I paint! And Bryan is my cheerleader!
The picture is a precious look one that his caretakers, Ruth, took. She said he was looking so peaceful and she wanted to catch it. Although he can not talk and communicate with words, you can see the life in his eyes and he communicates other ways. With his sighs when he likes something, and moans when he doesn’t like something! It is a blessing and an honor for all of us to love on him and pray for him. I thank you for joining us in believing for a miracle for Bryan! It has blessed my Momma heart for you to love Bryan. xoxo
I designed the room around Bryan, by adding a kitchen to what was once a living room. Behind the curtain is the toilet.
I had the contractor do what I call a shower tower in the middle of the room. First he ever had a request for that! The kitchen floor has a drain in it like a shower. So cool! We built walls to separate our living quarters from the rest of the house. New walls are where you see the two doors behind where Bryan’s bed used to be. My daughter lives beyond those two doors. She is one of Bryan’s caretakers and it is easy for her to slip over and help!
I had sold my house to my daughter before Bryan’s accident. I bought the front corner of it back from her and closed it off from the rest of the house. She lives there with her family and Bryan and I live here. I enclosed the front porch off to the side of this room so I would have a place to sleep when I have a caretaker here (Bryan needs 24/7 care).
For close to 3 years as I saved enough money to do this room, Bryan and I were both in a 10′ x 12′ room. I slept in a twin bed at the foot of his that made a “T”. I had to sleep through the caretakers taking care of him. But that was better than not having a caretaker and not getting any solid sleep at all, like the first year when I was waiting for insurance to help.
His new room is huge compared to what we did have and I am very thankful for it! It also has a ceiling lift and we have a huge handicap ramp with a deck out front.
For almost a year, insurance did not kick in and help me with getting a caretaker. My daughter helped with one routine a day so I could get 3 hours sleep. Other than that, I took care of him, month in and month out with cat naps. I fell asleep one time while deciding which chocolate I wanted from a box of chocolate my other son, Michael Brent, had given me for Christmas. My daughter walked in and found me curled up on the couch with my hand laying on the chocolate and my head hanging down. She said it was pitiful. I could not stop moving for more than a few minutes or I would fall asleep! I was under sheer exhaustion for months.
I can testify the only way I got through it was God and prayers of the saints for His comfort and strength. If you only knew how hare a time that was, you would know God carried me through! It took me five years after Bryan’s accident to decide to start writing a book and tell about it. I share Bryan’s stories to bring hope. I can testify of God’s goodness and help in the storm. I would not have made it without Him. To this day, I have not had enough help with Bryan. There are times I have no one to help from Fri. at 4pm to Mon. at 6am. And different days or nights throughout the week. When I don’t have help, I go back to cat naps and working around the clock.
It is hard to find someone to help because Bryan’s care is so complicated, it intimidates the average person, even the average care taker. Bryan has a trach that needs suctioned sometimes, a feeding tube, and he can not do anything for himself. He requires round the clock care. Re-positioning in bed every two hours, eye drops every hour, mouth cleaned and moisturized every 4 hours, range of motion therapy, stimulation…like cold spoons from the freezer and soft or fuzzy things on his skin, etc.; Also circulation massages, diaper changes, making and pureeing all his food for the feeding tube, not to mention wound care, which I have always done, but to the new person on an interview, it is overwhelming to look at.
Needless to say, most people say it is too much. And some people tried but they couldn’t. My daughter has been a real trooper all these years helping me out. Bryan’s brother helped me out when he could, too. Last year Bryan got a new caretaker named Ruth, that absolutely loves him and is so attentive in his care. I am so thankful for her and my daughter. Even with the two of them though, it was not enough care. I needed one more person, which, I have finally found someone and she is in training. She is so loving to Bryan and attentive also. I am blessed to have these three women come along side me and help take care and minister to Bryan.
The Burgundy wine colored tree painting is one I painted almost 30 years ago. The Lion painting was recently painted for Bryan. It is titled, Mighty To Save. At the time I painted the burgundy tree, I had it in my heart to paint and make crafts, jewelry, dried flower arrangements, etc., I started a little craft business, but was hesitant (very hesitant.) Around that same time, a prophet named John Avanzini, came to our church and prophesied over me and saying, “God said why do you have your breaks on? I want to bless you.” He went on to say more, but I forget the rest of what he said exactly, but to the effect, I was to do my painting and crafts business and take my breaks off. Back then, I was nervous and shy to step out, but I did. The Lord even gave me a name, “Just For You”. All these years I thought the name was “Just For You” because I always did custom work. Turns out, The “Just For You”, is really for Him. Just For You Lord, Just For YOU! I now paint to share His heart. Back then, the Lord made me so brave, I even went door to door with a portfolio of my work and had all kinds of orders, but I could not balance family and the work load. I never fully took off the breaks, but I knew one day I would. I tucked the prophesy away in my heart, waiting for the day the dream would come to pass. This is now that season. I paint for the Lord and use the gift He gave me to be a blessing. All the profits I make, I give to missions. It blesses me to do this in Bryan’s honor.
Back then, I raised a family, which was the largest blessing of my life, and quietly put the dreams on hold. I painted a thousand paintings in my mind, waiting for the day I would have time to put them on canvas. The Lord had put it on my heart to use the gift He gave me to paint to raise money for missions when Bryan decided to enter the mission field. He actually planned on selling everything he owned and becoming a missionary! Bryan is right by my side while I paint. We go on with the plans the Lord put in our heart. Bryan is a blessing, just having him here! He knows how much I loved to paint, too, and always wanted me to paint again. To do it now in his honor to raise money for missions is my way to carry on for him and go on with the plans God put in our hearts…me painting, Bryan missions. His stories are like him going on missions all around the world. Everything that was in Bryan’s heart to share when he decided to be a missionary I am doing my best to share for him. By the way, if there are any Artist out there that God has put on your heart to paint, and you have a heart for missions, please join me on this journey. I will share your work on my website, just let me know if you are interested. It was a long way to get here, and I wish Bryan was not in the accident, but we go on anyway, and are thankful. Father God, the brakes are off. Thank you Daddy. I love you! I say take the brakes off because not only am I painting like he put it in my heart to do, but I am going full force to raise money for missions, share God’s love, preach the gospel and make an opportunity for other Artist to do the same. Artist tell about God’s love in their paintings. We preach with every stroke of our paint brush!
This has been the longest journey anyone could imagine as a Mom. My heart broke a thousand times and a thousand times God healed it. My hope is in the Lord and I will never give up on believing for a miracle for Bryan. In the meanwhile, I am thankful he is here with me. I love this boy so much! Thank you for all your love, prayers and support for Bryan, myself and our family.
God bless you! Love, Pam, Bryan’s Mom!
I pray my Art and stories are a blessing! More added all the time. Please tell your friends about my art and Bryan’s story. You can also follow me on Facebook to know what I post new art or stores at https://www.facebook.com/Propheticartjustforyou (select get notifications from like button) or on Pinterest for cool ideas and artsy stuff at https://www.pinterest.com/JFYPropheticArt/ Or Instagram at www.instagram.com/just_for_you_prophetic_art/Thank you so much! Feel free to copy and share my pics (just include my name and web address if possible) All prints are made on high quality archival photo paper. Watermark will not be on print. I hope my art is a blessing to you! Thanks for looking!